the nanyang teacher called to let me know that my appeal in was successful yesterday
and asked me to report to school tmr.
i am supposed to be happy aren't i?
but somehow i wasn't.
i was in a big serious dilemma.
as to whether i should stay in mj or not..
bt my family members all said a lvl results of nanyang is better..
and i was also told to consider the distance from school.
and i tell you,
the whole of last evening and night i was so so stress and confused as to what i should do.

anyways,
so eventually my parents just kept saying jus go the school and ask for the sub combi then decide and didn't even really ask what i want.
but forget it la,
so i did go nanyang this morning.
i was actually given h2-maths,h2-chem, h2-phys and h1-geog through appeal case.
but i asked for 4h2 for those sub and they allowed me.
so i decided to accept the appeal then.
considering the final alvl results la.

so i was given this form which i was supposed to go meridian to sign to be appealled out of meridian.
and so i did.
and after i did,
as i was walking out of the school,
there was a reluctancy in me.
though i've been in there for only less than a week,
but i can't deny,
i really had fun,
had made many friends,
got to know my classmates through the 1st day of orientation with them.
& the student councils impressed me,
and i also love the houses in the school,
the competition and unity amongst them all.

oh man.
but nevermind,
i told myself to forget it.
that i'm no longer a meridian.
that nanyang will be a better option.

and so,
i reported to nanyang at 12.20pm today for my 1st lecture,
h1-chinese.
met shixun and went in tgt.
thankgod for him,
else i'll feel so so outcast.
we were waiting for yongloon to come as well,
but he didnt show up and i was wondering where he was.
and half way thru the lesson,
i suddenly saw him at the other end of our row -.-
anyways,
in the chinese lesson,
i saw this really lame thing.
a girl sitting infront of me opened her calculator and this was written at the back of the cover of the calculator:

guide to use:

step1:press the on button.

step 2: press the keys.

step 3: see the answers.

ok,though it was lame,

it managed to entertain me.

lols.

cause at that moment i was like about to fall asleep when i saw it and woke up.

hahas.

after lecture ended,

we went tot he canteen to eat and saw candice and joined her.

we then went to our respective GP lecture.

i was alone in that.

sat alone beside this grp of 4 frens and felt so lonely.

anyways,

GP today was more or less just to tell us wad GP is about.

the lesson is supposed to last 1 hour,

but i couldn't even last 10 mins before i started dozing off and stuff.

i remember there was once when i looked up and see the time,

it was 2.25pm

then i dozed off again and then was staring at blank space after i forced myself awake.

then i looked at the time again after what seemed like hours,

it was 2.27pm!=.=

and suddenly,

the teacher said, "THE END,YOU'RE RELEASED NOW!"

oh yeahs!early release and everyone was so glad.

oh ya,i dont think i can do well in GP.

the teacher showed this slide saying:

the president barrack obama,42nd president of USA, mentioned that the global warming is affecting the world's ice cream.

and everyone started laughing.

and the joke begins...

teacher: yes yes?you guys can spot the mistakes here?

annoymous studentS : only one R!!barack!not barrack!

milly: *still lost wondering what they're saying and what's happening*

teacher: *smiles*yes!only one r !correct.what else?

annoymous studentS : 44th president!!!

milly: *appalled and thought to self* WHAT THE HELL! LIKE THAT ALSO SO MANY PEOPLE KNOWS!?I SUCK MAN!I DONT KNOW AT ALL!

teacher:*laughs*yes!44th ahhs!not 42nd!! this is obvious.1 more?

annoymous studentS: icecream!*laughs*

teacher:*laughs along* yeah ah!the president never talk about the world's icecreams.

milly: *still in lost* grrr...the icecream is the only one i realised.cause it doesn't make sense for the president to say such things.

my god!i tell you,i can really die!

1st lecture and i was slping more than half of it!

so,

my lessons ended at 2.40pm and i called huimin to see if she wanted to meet me awhile as my badminton training starts only at 4.30pm

but she was at marsiling which was super far.

so i asked if alisa was there too as i thought perhaps she would be at amk hub working.

then huimin said she was working.

so i decided to go over and give her a surprise and to see how she was,

after all,i've not seen her for quite some time.

took a bus ride down and found her.

talked to her like half an hr till when there was like quite a few customers around.

so i told her i'd go walk around.

so i walked for about 15 mins and it was 4pm already.

took a bus back to nanyang for training.

and i tell you,

it sucked=[

i feel all the more demoralised with my skills of badminton.

sat at the hall half way through training and thought to myself perhaps i should just quit badminton,i am obviously not good at it,perhaps its not suitable for me.

but then,

come to think of it,

i am not good at ANY thing..so should i just die then?

oh anyways,

i cant quit badminton cause i appealled into nyjc through cca,

so yes.

i am not giving up cause i find it tiring.

but rather i just feel i suck at it,

i dont mind the tough trainings,

but i am just not improving,

worst still, dragging the whole team down?=[

during this game just now,

i was so angry with myself for causeing so much mistakes,

that there was this shuttle which was hit to the other end of the court,

and was my partner's shot,

but she stayed there,

so i just dashed there,

and as i was dashing,i somehow made a sound like those people make when using force?

"urghh..",pretty loudly.

but i still missed and slided across the ground.

and i was really irritated and jus let go of my racket and threw on the floor,

and like almost everyone in the hall looked at me.

and i guess the players in my game could see i was angry as they told me to relax.

yeahs,kinda not good ba.

showed the bad side of me once again.

and my leg now hurts after the sliding.

hahas,

i guess i learnt this sliding from my cheryl laogong la!

lols.

she's diving queen!XP

and so,

i'm slowly losing the faith in being able to do well in badminton=[

and somehow,

i feel the same for studies too?

slpt in the 1st lecture...

what a great sign=X

"reckless words pierce like a sword.

mindful thoughts brings about healing"

i don't know what im thinking of.

what exactly do i want.

whatever it is,

i just want you to be happy and to be living well.

i'll be more than contented this way.