first 2 exams in uni,
i had zan's care & concern to pull me through.

last exam i had my mum's love and support instead.

but this time round. i have none.
havent been speaking to both of them for more than a month now.


i couldnt decide to stay in hall or stay at home to study for my finals,
because either way, it still feels the same.
FUCKING ALONE.
stay in hall, i feel so cooped up alone,
stay at home, i get the cold shoulders.
i need an escape, but everywhere seems to be a dead route

i just cant find the motivation and i see no meaning to it,
now that even my own mum dont give a damn to me.
& she's mad at me, over a decision i made, which was in no way of any selfish reason.
can't she understand and let go of it?
its been a month for goodness sake.
urrgh!


it's unparalleled that the type of support you get from your friends, your love and your family, they are different. they satisfy different emotion needs and of course, they cause different emotional hurts.

urrghhh...
someday soon, i'll post something positive, i promise.
for now just let me vent.