one of those bad days.

Today's one of those bad days. :(

Dreamt of zan last night. Doing something super touching and sweet for this girl that he's interested in, for her bday, and weirdly, also asking her to Marry him. With his group of friends all there to give him full support with lots if excitement.

No, that girl's not me. 

And in my dream I was in a state of shock and heartbroken at the same time when I saw that image. 

People often say reality and dreams are often the opposite. But I know for once, and certainly, this dream of mine will definitely come true one day. May not be in the exact way it was in my dream, but it will happen.

Or who knows, it may already have.

I don't have the courage to find out the truth, but a girl's gut feeling is often true.

Of course I don't mean the marriage part at present, but finding someone new to give him his happiness.

The past few days, I thought It was really turning for the better. Where i could calmly accept that he's gone. 

But I guess, today's just one of those really bad days for me. 

That dream, felt so real.

And of all days, I happen to see him being tagged on one of our common friend's Instagram. 

I already deleted and blocked him off all possible access. 

Why does he still appear..

I don't know if this a sign. 

But i keep feeling a strong sense of bad omen, that I'm seeing his tag and having a bad dream about him on the same day. :( 

Sigh.

Back to my painkillers for now-- running man. :( 

It's been some time since I turned to it as an escape. 

Or at least it felt like its been some time :/